dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
