I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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