If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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