Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
