At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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