he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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