Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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