I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
