We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
