Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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