Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
