"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
