I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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