So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
