I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
