I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
