I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm having to shit out rocks
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
