The best revenge is premature balding
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
