if i died would you start the facebook group?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
