Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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