I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
only you would photoshop your dick
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
