My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
