he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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