i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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