that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
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