Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I need a burrito and a hug.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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