He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
