I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
