If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
