I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
