I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
