Barsexuality is the new black.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
