Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
