I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Soap is not a condiment
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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