So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
