it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
