It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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