we were pretty classy up until the second keg
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
