Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Drake has all the answers
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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