Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
