Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
