That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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