Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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