I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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