we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
