New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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