You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
