clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
How does it feel to date your dad?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
