Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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