We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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