hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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