You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
